Sequins and Sea Breezes: Ladies Guide to Football: The Basics

Ladies Guide to Football: The Basics

7/31/2014

 
  {via}

As crazy as it may sound, fall is already right around the corner. Today is the last day of July (seriously, where did the time go?!?) which means the beginning of fall is less than 2 months away. We all know what that means; time to break out the dark nail polishes, booties, scarfs and most importantly, it's finally football season. It's no secret that I love football but I know there are still a lot of ladies out there who put on a brave face for their man and sit through a "boring" game cheering when he cheers and hoping that his team wins because that makes going out and shopping so much better if he's in a good mood. Well I'm here to help you understand football from a ladies perspective and hopefully make the game not so "boring" for you. In order to not overwhelm you let's start with the basics and go from there.
 
 
Football is played with two teams, the home team and the away team (this should be pretty obvious but if you're already lost... just stop reading now. I can't help you). ;) At any given point either the offense, the defense or special teams is on the the field. The offense is the team who has the ball and is trying to score. The defense is the team trying to stop the guys with the ball from scoring. Then there's special teams, no they're not short-bus special they're just not good enough to do anything else special. Ok, so that might be a bit of an exaggeration. Special teams consists of the players on the field when a kick/punt is being made. Are you still with me? 
 

Ok so now on to the game and scoring. There are four 15-minute quarters in a game that are spread out into two halves with something every girl knows about, thanks to Justin Timberlake and Janet Jackson, halftime in between. Logic and good math skills would lead you to believe that this means a game should last an hour, right? Wrong. There are penalties, timeouts, incomplete passes, running out bounds as well as other things that can cause the clock to stop. So sit back, grab a drink and get comfy. 
 
{are you noticing a trend with my gifs yet?}
 
The purpose of the game is to score the most points (ok, maybe all wasn't lost if you didn't understand the teams part. But really, if you didn't know this before reading....). You score points by either getting a touchdown, field goal or safety. A touchdown is when the team with the ball gets it into the end zone. A touchdown is worth 6 points. After you get a touchdown you get the option to either kick the ball for an extra point through the uprights (the giant U on a stick on either end of the field. Yup, I went there) or you can choose to "go for two". I'll explain what "going for two" (the technical term is two-point conversion)  means in a more detailed post, let's stick the basics now and since most teams rarely "go for two" it's not really important right now. 
 
 
A safety also doesn't happen very often but it's when the defense sacks (tackles) the quarterback (Tom Brady) in their end zone. This play is worth two points for the defensive team and often results in a lot of very large men celebrating which can be pretty entertaining. 
 
Since I don't want this to be too long and boring I'll go ahead and stop here but hopefully I've given you enough super basic knowledge of football so when the Hall of Fame game comes on Sunday night you might have an idea of what's going on. And if you need help choosing a team to cheer for on Sunday don't worry, both teams suck so you can't really lose. And it won't help to choose based on their team colors because both teams are the same colors; red, white and blue. But there are 32 NFL teams out there (and more college teams than I even care to think about) so you should be able to find one to cheer for! 
 
 
 Yeah, there's even the occasional acrobatics! Get it Jerome Simpson and Who Dey!!
 
 
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35 comments

  1. I am so excited for football season - college football though!!! I'm headed back to see my Gator Boys this season and I haven't been to a college football since I graduated 5 years ago - no bueno!! Side note - love that you used "Friends with Benefits" gifs...such a good movie!!

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    1. B- What game are you doing to? I'm dying to get back for a game this year.

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  2. this post just got me excited FOR FALLLLL!!! GO DAWGS!!

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  3. I love this! I love baseball season, but my team is blowing it this year so I am ready to move on to FOOTBALL!! The best part about fall! And big yay for girls who like it!!! And don't like Tom Brady ;)

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  4. This post cracks me up - unfortunately, I just can't get into football no matter how hard I try. I sit and pretend to watch it with my husband whenever it's on, but I just find it ridiculously boring. I think I'm forever a hockey girl. :)

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  5. haha this is a cute post. i do enjoy watching some good football. but i wish it actually FELT like fall here soon. not til oh...january.. ha xo

    cheshirekatblog.com

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  6. Haha LOVE this!!!! And love the girl above GO DAWGS!!!

    Can't wait for football season! But..... I have a feeling I won't be able to even think about scarves and boots until at least November ;-)

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  7. Love this! I had a friend in college who could have benefited from this rundown of the game ;) I'm not quite ready for fall to be here, but I am looking forward to football season & all things that come along with it!

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  8. I can’t wait for college football to start! I love summer, but football season is the best :)

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  9. I won't lie, I don't know a lot about football, but I can sit and watch a game with hubby and I don't find it boring at all! Sometimes I'm like what happened? but I chalk that up to being Aussie and not because I'm a girl. I love your use of Mila Kunis gifs!
    ps yay booties!!!

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  10. You're right it's do close to fall! My husband is ready for football and I'm ready to buy fall clothes!

    www.madeintheshadeblog.com

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  11. this is HILARIOUS. i am obsessed with football & your guide is spot on.

    a few things...
    - dying at the fact that you said if you don't know about the home/away team that you can't be helped. hahaha so true.
    - also dying that you put (tom brady) behind quarterback because do some people seriously not know what a quarterback is?!
    - and the short bus reference to special teams. HAHAHA. dead. awesome post.

    -

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  12. I loved the gifs you used, they're so perfect. You know, I'm pretty pleased with myself for actually knowing all of this.

    prosecco in the park

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  13. You know I'm slightly football challenged so loved this post! Even though I know most of it I'm still football retarded! Anyways can't wait to tailgate! ;)

    <3 Shannon
    Upbeatsoles.blogspot.com

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  14. Hahaha, I love this.
    I cannot BELIEVE July is over and we're almost into August. Crazy how fast summer is flying by!

    -Ashley
    http://lestylorouge.com

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  15. I love the Jerome Simpson meme at the end! So gangster! ;)

    I can't wait for football!!!!

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  16. Yes I'm that girl who has no clue what's going on during a football game. My husband gets mad at me because we've been together for 8 years, I've gone to more than I can count Univ of SC games with him, he watches football every Saturday and Sunday, and I STILL have no idea whats' going on. Because I don't care! Sports are not my thing and football especially. So I appreciate this post a lot! I'll have to reference it when FB starts! Life as I know it

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  17. Thank you this post! While I don't have a husband, I do have a father and stepfather who are very fond of football and always want me to watch the game. Mckenzie xx
    Blog | Bloglovin’ | Twitter | Instagram

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  18. You are amazing, and I seriously feel a little more football-smart after reading this haha. I LOVE fall and I love gathering for OU & TU football games, however I am a little lost at times... I really put extra effort into paying more attention last year. I feel like this prepared me even more ;)

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  19. This is cute! I love football season and I love tailgating and I love fall -- almost as much as I love spring and summer (almost). xo!

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  20. Loved the Friends with Benefits gifs! Great post! I'm from football country (I went the the high school that the book/movie Friday Night Lights is written about) but I am not smart when it comes to football. I'm determined though that this year will be the year I try to understand everything!

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  21. Haha I loved this! I'm a big football fan so I can't WAIT for fall!!

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  22. I'm a huge college football lover too! Go Gators! This is a cute summary of the game for the ladies! Great idea!

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  23. Love this! I'm soooo ready for college football season (and fall in general) Go Michigan!!

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  24. Omgsh see now this is a blog post my hubby would love me to read :) He is the biggest football fan ha! I am not so much--but you explained it so well :) And the flipping Bengal at the end--was prolly my favorite moment in football history!

    Tori
    FashionBlingGirlyThings

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  25. I love tailgating, football and the fall! This post made me think about the last few Halloweens and what will I be this year?

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  26. I can't wrap my head around this (blame it on my ADD/sports ADD in general) but you can bet I'll be sipping something alcoholic and enjoying the SEC season ;)

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  27. I must admit I'm not a huge football fan, but I love fall and the tradition of going to a game and tailgating!

    Maggie
    www.PolishedClosets.com

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  28. haha this is awesome. I'm a HUGE football fan (and baseball...). I so appreciate that way you broke this down for people who may not be into football. =) so fun!
    xo,
    nancy

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  29. What a great post!! It's taken me a few years, but I'm finally starting to understand football. Great (and funny) explanations!

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  30. I love foorball I am a huge college ball fan Go USC!
    Xo Miss Erin
    www.misserinsays.com

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  31. This makes me so excited for fall, yay!!

    xo, Ainslee
    abeautifulheartblog.blogspot.com

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  32. great post sweety!
    wish you a wonderful weekend!

    <3
    http://www.getcarriedaway.net/

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  33. No matter how simple you break this down for me, I will NEVER understand American Football! AUSSIE RULES FOOTY ALL THE WAY! Hahaha.

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